We ended up with 5 frozen embryos! Hazel and I travelled to Prague and stayed in London a for a few days with Jessica. Once we arrived in Prague it was definitely a struggle to get settled. I ended up having some of the worst panic attacks I have had in years and actually considered flying home. I managed to push through with the support of Jason, my sister, and my mom's group. My mom's group started a group video chat to help support me and it was a lifesaver! Once we were settled we had an amazing time. We visited so many playgrounds, wandered the streets of Prague, and ate a lot of ice cream.
Jason's mom agreed to come out and arrived the day before the transfer. It was such a relief to have her there to watch Hazel. Five days after the transfer I took a pregnancy test and it looked pretty negative but then I took another one later that day and I was sure there was something there. The next day there was definitely a line!!! We were pregnant!! I had my blood drawn at Iscare and while the number was low it was right on track with previous numbers. Due date of February 23, 2019.
Our flight home was an adventure including vomit, delayed flights, and dance parties. Hazel was SO excited to see her papa once we finally arrived. I had two additional blood draws that showed great doubling times. I had some spotting and cramping so I called my doctor to see about getting in for an early ultrasound so I went in at 6 weeks 5 days and we saw a heartbeat! AND Dr. B suspected that we were having TWINS. Mono-mono twins which are super high risk. She wasn't 100% sure because she couldn't get a good angle on both of them but we had another ultrasound scheduled at 7 weeks 2 days so hopefully we would know more then.
The next day I started bleeding bright red blood. I texted Dr. B and she told me what I already knew - we'd just have to wait and see. Jason's parents were here watching Hazel because we went to the movies for our anniversary. We headed home and I was able to put Hazel to bed. Once she was asleep the bleeding intensified. I bled and bled and bled. Handfuls of clots made me think I might be bleeding out but there wasn't any tissue - just blood. I called the on-call doc, and my sister in law who is a doctor and was reassured that I wasn't going to bleed out and didn't need to go to the ER. I really thought it was too much blood. The bleeding slowed down at about 11pm and I went to bed. The next morning it was light bleeding again but nothing like the night before. I called the on-call doc and she agreed to meet me at the clinic for an ultrasound to see if I had a miscarriage. About an hour before the appointment I started having intense cramps and felt the need to push. The ultrasound confirmed that there was no longer a heartbeat and she was able to visualize tissue that was stuck in my cervix and removed it. It was the amniotic sac but it had already burst. I had an ultrasound a few days later that confirmed I had passed all the "products of conception" meaning my body has successfully miscarried and a D&C wasn't required. This miscarriage was very different from my previous one but emotionally painful nonetheless. So much effort to get pregnant and such a blow to have ripped away. I snuggled Hazel a little tighter over the following days and decided to plan our next trip to Prague because that is how I deal with grief - by planning.
