Monday, July 16, 2018

Back in Prague

Ok a quick recap:

We ended up with 5 frozen embryos! Hazel and I travelled to Prague and stayed in London a for a few days with Jessica. Once we arrived in Prague it was definitely a struggle to get settled. I ended up having some of the worst panic attacks I have had in years and actually considered flying home. I managed to push through with the support of Jason, my sister, and my mom's group. My mom's group started a group video chat to help support me and it was a lifesaver! Once we were settled we had an amazing time. We visited so many playgrounds, wandered the streets of Prague, and ate a lot of ice cream.








Jason's mom agreed to come out and arrived the day before the transfer. It was such a relief to have her there to watch Hazel. Five days after the transfer I took a pregnancy test and it looked pretty negative but then I took another one later that day and I was sure there was something there. The next day there was definitely a line!!! We were pregnant!! I had my blood drawn at Iscare and while the number was low it was right on track with previous numbers. Due date of February 23, 2019.

Our flight home was an adventure including vomit, delayed flights, and dance parties. Hazel was SO excited to see her papa once we finally arrived. I had two additional blood draws that showed great doubling times. I had some spotting and cramping so I called my doctor to see about getting in for an early ultrasound so I went in at 6 weeks 5 days and we saw a heartbeat! AND Dr. B suspected that we were having TWINS. Mono-mono twins which are super high risk. She wasn't 100% sure because she couldn't get a good angle on both of them but we had another ultrasound scheduled at 7 weeks 2 days so hopefully we would know more then.

The next day I started bleeding bright red blood. I texted Dr. B and she told me what I already knew - we'd just have to wait and see. Jason's parents were here watching Hazel because we went to the movies for our anniversary. We headed home and I was able to put Hazel to bed. Once she was asleep the bleeding intensified. I bled and bled and bled. Handfuls of clots made me think I might be bleeding out but there wasn't any tissue - just blood. I called the on-call doc, and my sister in law who is a doctor and was reassured that I wasn't going to bleed out and didn't need to go to the ER. I really thought it was too much blood. The bleeding slowed down at about 11pm and I went to bed. The next morning it was light bleeding again but nothing like the night before. I called the on-call doc and she agreed to meet me at the clinic for an ultrasound to see if I had a miscarriage. About an hour before the appointment I started having intense cramps and felt the need to push. The ultrasound confirmed that there was no longer a heartbeat and she was able to visualize tissue that was stuck in my cervix and removed it. It was the amniotic sac but it had already burst. I had an ultrasound a few days later that confirmed I had passed all the "products of conception" meaning my body has successfully miscarried and a D&C wasn't required. This miscarriage was very different from my previous one but emotionally painful nonetheless. So much effort to get pregnant and such a blow to have ripped away. I snuggled Hazel a little tighter over the following days and decided to plan our next trip to Prague because that is how I deal with grief - by planning.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

On the road again.


Back in November we decided to put down a deposit for another donor cycle. Friends of ours were in the Czech Republic and they offered to bring our prescription medications back to the US. 

HUGE savings $$$

Fast forward to April 10 and we receive an email from Iscare saying that we have a matching donor!! This is was the info Iscare gave me: She is 25 years old, blood group AB-, green blue eyes, brown hair, 165 cm, 53 kg. Has 1 child, successfully donated once. She works as an operator, has high school education. She has been very kind and responsible during her previous donation and throughout this new cycle.

We had days to decide if we were ready to move forward and if so Jason was needed over there ASAP.  We weren't sure of the exact timeline but between Jay's 70th birthday party and Jason's one weekend a month that he works - we booked him a flight to Prague on April 19th. Today (April 24th) he went to Iscare to give them his sperm sample. He met with Bea (our donor coordinator) and filled out all the paperwork. Today he headed to Dublin, Ireland for a few days before coming home on Saturday.






I have been home with Hazel and we've been doing just fine. As long as she is outside she is as happy as a clam. Solo-parenting for 10 days is just a little preview of what is to come next month when Hazel and I are in Prague. We have a flight May 22 to London where I will be staying with my dear friend Jessica for a few days. We arrive in Prague May 26 and stay in an AirBnB for a week. Our friends, Dan and Jana, will be in America in June so they offered to let us stay in their flat. While I am sad that I will only get to see them for a week, I am so grateful to be able to stay in their flat. It is going to save us SO MUCH MONEY and they have 2 children so Hazel will have everything she needs there. I have a return flight on June 19th but if the first donor cycle doesn't take then we will extend out trip and try again before heading home.






And a selfie for good measure.

xo