No easy way to say this...

We went in for an ultrasound this morning where we discovered that fetal growth stopped about 10 days ago and there was no longer a heartbeat - it is called a missed miscarriage.. We are devastated. We have decided to allow the miscarriage to happen naturally.  I will discontinue taking all of my medications and that should clue my body in on what has happened - may take a few days, may take a week or more. Thank you for all of the love and support we have received through this process. That is all I have for now.

Heartbeat

I will start by saying that we got to see the heartbeat today!! But now I am going to back-track on the hardest 4 days ever.

On Monday we went in for our first ultrasound at 6 weeks and 1 day. The doctor was able to see one gestational sac and a yolk sac. He said that he expected to see more at this point (fetal pole and heartbeat) and suggested that it was probably a blighted ovum with a missed miscarriage. Cue the water works. WHAT!?! Basically he believed that after implantation the babe didn't develop. He discussed the options suggesting we could have a d&c (where they scrape put the inside of your uterus) vs medications vs natural.  He made us an appointment for a follow-up ultrasound at his private clinic for Friday (6 weeks 5 days) to determine if there was any growth. So, from Monday afternoon until Friday afternoon we had no idea what was happening. Was I still pregnant? Yes, I hadn't miscarried but was the babe still growing? I wanted so bad to believe but I was terrified of what the doctor discussed. After much research, I discovered that at the 6 week stage there is a large range of what can been seen. Often just a few days makes a big difference. I also experienced some major anger at the doctor suggesting this so early on as technically a blighted ovum can't be officially diagnosed until the gestational sac has reached 25mm and then a week after that if an ultrasound shows no growth. I was nowhere close to that. BUT with IVF dates and such are more certain so I get that he expected to see more. Not to mention that dating protocols can differ greatly in the first few weeks depending on who you ask.

The babe is rapidly changing as we found out today. Babe measured 4mm about the size of a sweet pea! The dating the doctor gave was 6 weeks 1 day - so about 4 days behind schedule BUT other medical sites have suggested that this is right on target. He also mentioned that the yolk sac is slightly large at 5mm and again this value is right on the border. The most important thing is that we saw and HEARD the heartbeat!! Really really amazing. We have another ultrasound scheduled for November 30 and at that point I'll be 9 weeks and 1 day. 

The black space below  is the gestational sac and the round part is the 

yolk sac and where the arrow is pointing is the babe!

I have experienced all sorts of symptoms... they come and go. I have the nose of a bloodhound and some pretty strong food aversions. I have been really tired and dizzy. And man, my boobs HURT!! I have had waves of nausea but nothing too bad but my gas is horrid!! Honestly, I'll take all the symptoms because they mean I am pregnant!! 

xo - katherine