A one eyed grape

The last week has been quite the rollercoaster. On Friday we went in for another ultrasound and again the doc was able to see the large follicle and the other small one. He set the date for the egg retrieval for Monday at 7am. On Monday we showed up for our egg retrieval and were taken to a hospital type room where we proceeded to sit and wait for 1.5 hrs. Finally the nurse came back in and brought me a gown and left. It was all very confusing and I wasn't sure what I was suppose to do... there was some mention of a shower and I was told to bring a nightgown and slippers. I wan't quite sure of the order of operations for the morning and I was quite frustrated. Sometimes I get angry when I am sad. In the US, you are told exactly what to do step by step. Here, not so much. Maybe it is a cultural thing and maybe it is lost in translation. Either way, I was stressed and pissed. Finally, I was taken to wait outside the OR. I was alone and cold and well, I started crying. The anesthesiologist was very sweet and rubbed my head and told me that she was going to make me take a little nap. Then, before I knew it, I was back in my room. The doctor came in a little later and said that he had retrieved FOUR eggs! We were thrilled!!! Four eggs is not usually a number to get excited about but we were all smiles. Next, the embryologist came in to discuss our eggs. She said that they either had or were about to fertilize them and that I should call on Tuesday at 2pm to find out how many had fertilized.

On Tuesday we called and were told that 2 of the 4 eggs were not mature enough and that only one of the remaining two had been fertilized via ICSI (Intracytoplasmatic Sperm Injection - one sperm chosen by the embryologist is injected into the egg). So, were were back to our one egg. They said that because there was only one, the embryo transfer would be on Wednesday. Usually eggs are transferred on day 3 or day 5 but because there was only one, there was no need to watch it develop as they didn't need to pick the best embryo and my uterus is a better environment for the embryo than the incubator. She said to call on Wednesday morning and they would tell us about our embryo and what time to come in for the transfer.

This morning we called at 8am and she told us to come in at 11:30am for the transfer and that we had a 4 celled embryo. It was rated a 1 - the best rating!! As the embryo develops to day 3 or 5, then there are letters assigned but at this stage only a number is assigned. At 11:30, the embryologist called us into her office to discuss everything we had already found out over the phone. BUT... on a huge TV screen was a picture of our little 4 celled embryo!! I cried. Science is freaking amazing. From there, we went upstairs for the transfer.

Your bladder has to be full for the transfer and I forgot until we were on the tram headed over to the office. I chugged more water than necessary and my bladder was definitely full by the time we headed upstairs. I changed into my gown and waited in the room until it was time. Jason had to wait in the room while I went to the same OR where the egg retrieval had occurred. She showed me the embryo again and commented on my very full bladder. She showed me the catheter in my uterus on the ultrasound and I watched as she injected our little embryo and that was that. I was wheeled on a bed back to my room where I had to lay with my legs up for at least 30 minutes (which is not really proven to help - I don't think). I REALLY had to pee - like I thought my bladder was going to explode. Jason was tasked with telling me jokes, as laughter after a transfer is meant to lower stress and increase your chances of pregnancy. (My favorite joke, it really makes me laugh, is one by a third grader - What do you call a fish without a tail?.......... A one-eyed grape!! For some reason, that joke really makes me laugh). There are a lot of things that people say to do before and after a transfer to help increase your chances - I figured that they can't hurt! Another one I heard was eating french fries after your transfer so we left and went to our favorite burger place, Dish - 3.5 blocks from our flat, and had fries and a burger for lunch. Yum. So now we are in the 2 week wait. I am on a progesterone supplements 3x/day and I will take a pregnancy test in 14 days (knowing me I will test in 10 days).

I didn't want to post an update earlier this week because writing it all out makes it real (and at times it is slightly depressing - hence the last post). It is hard to come to terms with how I feel about it all. Feeling sad and exposing myself is scary. I started this blog as a way to keep family and friends updated and to keep a journal of our journey. But this is harder than I thought. This is a very private matter that we have chosen to share and I am happy that we are sharing it. I am hopeful that we will get a BFP (big freaking positive) when we take a pregnancy test in two weeks. Regardless of what happens, I will continue to share my experiences and feelings surrounding this whole process. Send us sticky embryo thoughts.

xo -katherine